Vision

I sat on the floor of the bathroom.  My niece (21 months) sat on the "big girl potty" having been promised a reward of M&Ms for her effort.  She leafed through magazines the way some people would half-heartedly leaf through a text book before an exam, skipping large chunks at a time, deeming them irrelevant.  

Keeping her occupied during this process is essential to any expectation of success.  It's simple math.  The longer she sits, the more likely it is that something will happen.  And then we celebrate!  

This day, there was no celebration, but I was proud of her anyway.  She came across an ad for a charity that helps to provide surgery for children with cleft palates.  

She paused.  She paused longer than she'd paused for anything else in that (or any other) magazine.

The ad featured photographs of the faces of a dozen or so children - children from Cambodia, Nairobi, India, and other places far away.  

She pointed at each of the youngsters in turn, saying, "Baby, baby, baby..." 

She looked at their faces, studied their expressions.  She sat and thought for a minute.  

Then she twisted her own face up into an expression I'd never seen her make before.  She was trying to imitate the face that she thought the children in the ad were making.  On her, it turned out somewhere between a goofy smile and a grimace.  She giggled.

She was not old enough to understand that they needed help.  

She was not old enough to know that their circumstance could be grounds for exclusion.  

She was not old enough to judge them.  

She was not old enough to know that she could do these things.  

She had the sincerity to see those children as no different than her.  

She had the openness to see nothing wrong when she looked at them. 

She had the kindness to see people, not problems.

She had the simplicity to see that she could smile back.   

We should all be so lucky - both to have that quality in our own vision and to be looked upon that way.

Interrupting starfish

Have you heard the interrupting starfish joke?  If not, ask me sometime, and I'll tell it to you (or find a 9-year old and ask him or her).  

On my last several runs, I have been the interrupting biped to three or four deer standing peacefully along the trail.  Each time, they seem singularly unconcerned with my approach.

The trail is covered in many places with fallen leaves so that as I run along, I don't even recognize the deer blending in with the fall browns until I am already fairly close.

At that point, I become aware of the subtle white edge of their drooping tails.  They are so unconcerned with my approach that they stand, watching me come nearer while their tails hang down in calm.  Eventually, they turn their dark eyes on me, flip up their white-flag tails, and silently step down off the trail, in no particular hurry.  They disappear into the brush before I get to the spot where they stepped down.

They make no pretense of not being aware of my inferior running ability (even among other bipeds, my running ability is inferior) and do not perceive me as a threat.  Perhaps they can see that I do not run with a rifle.

And that the Beagle would rather roll in the leaves than chase them.  Actually, that's a lie - he would definitely rather chase them.  The deer must understand that a leashed beagle is a safe beagle (when the biped he is running with does not carry a rifle).  

Last night as I ran, I watched my tall shadow fall to my left onto the thin line of brush and trees that separates the trail from the farm fields.

For the record, this is not to my left but to my right.  But it is the only photo I have of the line of brush and trees.

A while ago the fields looked like this.

Then this.  

And then this.

And now, the fields are empty.  Empty of their crop, at least. Now they are full to the brim with cool, dusty air.  The cool, dusty air that flows in and out of my lungs as I can't help but think of how it does so differently in birds' lungs and how my metabolism is turning certain things into certain other things and how my muscle filaments are ratcheting against one another with each step and how no normal person should be thinking of these things as she runs.

And then I hear "Into the Mystic" in my ears, and my brain shuts up and listens to the music.  And the air hanging over the empty fields is just cool, heavy air.  And the birds are just birds.  And my muscles and metabolism are just affording me movement.     

Go ahead

Go ahead Bean.  Write the rest of that dissertation right on up.

If you need me, I'll be in the kitchen scrubbing the dish drying rack clean (which is what I did yesterday as a new all-time low for writing distraction).

The season of spider webs and cicadas

I took a short trip recently, and upon my return, I found that Fall had arrived at my house.  This coincided nicely with the first day of October.  Fall is my favorite season, but I do not appreciate the shortening days.

The Beagle has marked the end of his own private cicada hunting season.  They're no longer around like they were a few weeks ago.  For some reason (maybe it's the satisfying crunch), Maximilian took special joy in searching for and consuming as many cicadas as possibly this late summer.  Sometimes he would get upwards of four or five a day by my count (and that doesn't even include the ones he nabs sneakily enough for me not to notice).

He pursued them like a cat would a mouse.  I have not known dogs to be avid eaters of insects.  But Maximilian clearly lacks some chiton in his regular diet and needed to make up for that by foraging on his own time.

As we walked through the fields near where I live, the cicadas would buzz in alarm and take flight to get away from us.  The Beagle snagged a few in mid-air.  Our walks through the tall grass were fraught with the pummeling of fairly large invertebrates against my skin and clothes.  You get used to it after a while.

But now, those same walks are characterized by peaceful butterflies floating around some of the last flowers of the season.  They're much more calming than the pelting of their heavier cousins.  On today's walk, in fact, I had the sensation of shepherding a flock of butterflies (I think what was really happening is that they were fleeing from my advance at a pace that seemed leisurely but was really their third or fourth gear).

To me, there is a close association between cicada season and spider web season.  This year the majority of my experience with spider webs was with running on my usual trail.  I do not blame the spiders for choosing the trail as the place at which to build their webs.  It is convenient - in width and general bugginess - and beautiful.  Who wouldn't want to make a home there (however temporary).  But I cannot exactly say that I enjoy getting face after sweaty faceful of spider web as I run along the trail. 

I often considered carrying a stick in front of my face with which to combat the spider webs, but echoes of my grandfather screeching at us for running with anything remotely sharp prevented it.  In the end, I just dealt with the spider webs as necessary.  

But now that neither the spiders or cicadas are here to deal with in large numbers,  I can make my walks and runs without fear of 1) rather large, flying insects zooming about willy nilly and 2) ropes of proteinaceous spider silk smashing into my face and arms.  A definite sign of fall.  

And now it is time for me to go tend to the homemade pizza in the oven (which gave me this time to sit down and write something new).  Depending on how it turns out, the pizza may make the blog in the near future.